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Am I Being Abused? September 21, 2011

Posted by Kate in Domestic Abuse, help a friend.
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Am I Being Abused?

Look over the following questions. Think about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts or continually puts down the other person, it’s abuse.

Does your partner…
____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
____ Put down your accomplishments or goals?
____ Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
____ Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
____ Tell you that you are nothing without them?
____ Treat you roughly – grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
____ Call, text, or email you several times a day or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
____ Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
____ Blame you for how they feel or act?
____ Pressure you sexually for things you don’t want to do?
____ Make you feel like there “is no way out” of the relationship?
____ Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with your friends or family?
____ Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?

Do you…
____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
____ Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
____ Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
____ Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
____ Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
____ Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke-up?

If any of these are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Without some help, the abuse will continue.  National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or (TTY) 1-800-787-3224

(Adapted from Reading and Teaching Teens to Stop Violence, Nebraska Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Coalition, Lincoln, NE).


Personal Story From Friend of unfollowcharlie April 1, 2011

Posted by kelllo in Domestic Abuse, help a friend, Personal Stories, Women Who Rock.
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We were sent this heartbreaking, yet inspiring story by one of our dear unfollowcharlie friends and co-founders.

Please. If you are in a similar situation, please seek help. From a friend. From an expert. From family. From the police. From an anonymous source. Anyone.

Call 1-800-787-SAFE for immediate help.

I didnt share any personal stories in the last thread about my ex husband, but I will here. He thought that if he didnt hit me with his hands, it could not be called abuse. He would hit me with a bat, pans, break glass over my head. Lock me in closets. I had a 5 month old baby and was living far from home. When I left Modesto to live in TX I gave everyone my new address in Dallas. When we drove through Dallas, I realized we werent going to live there after all. When we got to our new place 3 hours past Dallas, it occurred to me I might be in trouble. The phone was locked with a code so I could not call anyone. I started stealing nickels and dimes from him so I could use the pay phone near the corner. I didnt want to steal quarters b/c I knew he would notice those missing. He also enjoyed doing this new thing called “digging a grave” where he had a tiny grave and a bigger grave dug out in the back yard. (more…)